When i ask you to listen to me, and you start giving me advice,you have not done what i asked.
When i ask you to listen me, and you begin to tell me why i shouldnt feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When i ask you to listen to me, and you feel you have to do something, to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All i ask is that you listen. Dont talk or do, just hear me.
Advice is cheap, 20 cents will get you both dear abby and billy in the same newspaper.
And i can do for myself, i am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless!
When you do something for me that i can and need to do for myself, you contribue to my fear and inadequancy.
But when you accept as a simple fact that i feel what i feel, no matter how irrational, then i can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding whats behind this irrational feeling.
And when thats clear, the answer are obvious and i dont need advice. Irrational feelhngs make sense when we understand whats behind them.
Perhaps thats why prayer works, sometimes, for some people, because God is mute and he doesnt give advice or try to fix things. God just listens and lets you work it ou for youselfs.
So please listen, and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn, and i will listen to you :)